i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
