You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
