i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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