You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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