things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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