I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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