Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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