Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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