is your mom at the bar?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
