Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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