She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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