Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
