Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
