After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
