so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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