Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
