was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
