I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
