you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
