my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
