i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
