you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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