I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
