also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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