do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
