i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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