Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
