I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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