i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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