I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
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I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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