He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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