Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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