I understand Curling. That high.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
