how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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