hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just had sex on a roof
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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