everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize