and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
