I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize