if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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