I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
