I'm jealous of your bromance
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
