I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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