Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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