Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize