Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
