You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
