HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
