There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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