I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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