Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
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At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
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I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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