Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
