I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
