He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
