i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
