Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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