I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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