She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
