He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
