im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
