yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
