clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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