I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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